my beautiful darkness


me, myself, and i at 3 am thinking, feeling, being, and loving my life story.

its troubled me for a while now and i have found the perfect prose.

there is beauty in my darkness.”

during this Mercury Rx in Scorpio i felt so much deepness and it has been incredibly challenging for me. although some people think its over, it is not officially over until Dec. 7th in my books. so, i brace myself.

during this deep and dark time, i been learning to love everything about myself, especially the deep darkness.

at this tender, loving, and vulnerable hour, 3 am is a time for lovers of the night. this deep and dark time is serene with thoughts on where i have come from and where i want to go next.

i am loving this reconnection to moon hours. la luna energy helps me to feel everything so deeply that it moves me beyond hurt and sorrow. after i shed my tears, the pain subsides and grandmother moon leaves me to my dignity. she covers me with a star blanket and lovingly watches over me.

she has held me tightly and hugs me just a little bit longer. her strength is what carries me through. i look forward to sleep so that i could dream a better dream and wake at 3 am to be welcomed by her lovingness all over again.

she won’t let me think my way through this.

she makes me feel my way through this.

she is the mother i missed.

she is the grandmother of my childhood lovingly looking down upon me.

as she washes my hair with yucca soap, she also gathers water made from starshine and cleanses me.

she is the one who shows me my divine feminine and teaches me there is beauty in my darkness.

my beautiful, deep darkness is a testimonio of her existence.

she has taken everything from my darkness and polished it with starshine.

she gently whispers with the twinkling stars and reminds me to look up at her.

softly cupping my chin in her hand, she holds my face with compassion and kisses my third eye lovingly.

as i ponder up and out into the night sky, looking up, it is crystal clear. i see my future and there is an entire universe waiting for me.

the splendor of her majesty’s queendom can be found in what i was told was bad and not good. i found beauty and expressed my love in her hours of time.

so if the love i found and expressed is bad and not good, then i surrender. i release those bad and not good thoughts because they are not mine to hold, because she has only shown me love.

she loved me in my darkest times and ugliest moments.

as i look back, even when some of those times and moments were in the hours of her lover the sun, i had to feel everything about those times and moments when she reigns.

i deem those hours as the mercy of her love.

how beautiful the darkness is to my heart, mind, and soul.

how beautiful it is to know i can always look up to the night sky and find her looking over me. she and her army of stars protect me.

i am trusting in her energy.

i am trusting in her love.

i am trusting in her divine femininity.

i am trusting in this time.

she has taught me to embrace my divine feminine and i have found beauty in my darkness.

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