love like that


discovering Sno Aalegra’s album Ugh, those feelings again has been storying my love life.

from I Want You Around which stories how she doesn’t want her love around and yet, she does. gawd i know what that feels like. then again, i also feel like, f*^% him.

then there’s Situationship. the online crushing, $h*%. so many times i tried to get over him. so many times we made love, calling out his name i’ve replaced batteries daily.

Whoa just makes me miss him more. i don’t feel the earth shaking beneath me until i say his name out loud 4 times, so sacred he is.

and when he calls me “sister” whenever i hear Find Someone Like You i wonder, is that how we make it last forever?

as i listen to Toronto i think of how i plan on attending NAISA this year and ya’know, can we just meet at the airport?

and with Love Like That, this is the hot song that had me in my emotions like i couldn’t believe. i mean, if it was new, i guess it would be like that? but… maybe, nah. it can’t be. i feel like im lying to myself and damn, the lies i told me, myself, and i. i feel like f*^%. do we just love like that? can’t be. not me. not us. never.

ha.

Be Careful this title alone makes me think of CardiB. haha, her toxicity is deadly in my opinion and i wont ever have no toxic anything again.

Charleville 9200, Pt. II just makes me wanna ask, “why i i?”

and You… damn. i said too much to the wrong people to take it back and now i feel like Thomas Shelby. as the cello sways in this song, something tells me he already knew and saw it coming before i did. now, despite the provocation, my love remains unwavering.

Njoy well, $h*^ this just reminds me of the lies i keep telling me, myself, and i. i mean it. this is the last time.

Nothing To Me just plain makes me mad. he can never, *emphasis on never say i never really loved him. not only does that irk the green chile posole out of me, it makes me think wtf’ever. in fact, it disappoints me because i’ve given him my love, heart, and soul, and still he walked away with another. and still, still, has the audacity to say i never really loved him. smh. nah, he don’t get to say that without my heart open and bleeding.

Didnt Mean To Fall in Love took me back to the night we first met. you see, i don’t believe in love at first sight. even though i stared just a little bit too long, i also swear on my life, i could not, for the life of me look away. i stared, stared, and stared. mesmerized and lost, i fell deep into an ocean. i felt like i was searching for myself in his eyes and i kept swimming and i felt so beautiful. so deep, and so peaceful. did i mention beautiful? well, i also meant dangerous. the danger was more about not knowing what he saw in my eyes. what i know and what i feel tell me, although i don’t think i fell in love that night, it was a series of events that took place before i realized what had happened that night our souls met. i have spent lifetimes searching for this love.

Peace reminds me of how i watched my car burn up in flames over the weekend and my life is more important than my love life.

the entire album is fire. shot down in flames i was burned by loves desire and this morning i am awake.

my feelings are felt.

my heart is healed.

my mind is thinking.

my soul is reunited.

come what may, i am manifesting all that is beautiful

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