finding power in the sacred

as i sit here contemplating life, my view is simply gorgeous. i am amazed at gods beauty and wonder.

Hayes farm Joseph, OR. photography by indigenista

these beautiful, sacred, and powerful snow capped mountains remind me self care is precious.

i made a choice and choose health, happiness, and healing.

Paasq (sunflower in Nimiipuutimt) photography by indigenista

i loaded up the chihuahuas, Luna and Pino, and we headed west into the Wallowa’s of Nimiipuu homelands. it has been beautiful to say the least.

if i have learned anything, when it comes to self care… please, spare no dollar amount. and for the record, you got to believe that you are worth every dime and dollar.

personally, this has been a sojourn for my heart. i isolated myself after a Reiki power up cleanse on Sunday and been exhausted. after hosting family over a full weekend with all day golf and family fun, i felt like i might implode.

i been feeling a sense of release and the spirit of rejuvenation. the Reiki cleanse has been working and helping me process and release so much it can get exhausting.

letting go of the past is much easier said than done.

i must share, i feel peace. i also feel kindness, and realize, i choose forgiveness. to truly forgive someone is an experience. you will know when it has occurred because you will feel it in your soul.

sacred mountain peaks Joseph, OR photography by indigenista

personally, it’s been so long since i felt this way, i am glad i took this time to recalibrate and reboot.

because of where i live in a rural area, did i mention, i took a break and headed west into the beautiful Wallowa homelands? well, i did. and it’s been a long over due breath of fresh air.

i have been working through my demons intentionally for the last few years and it is an incredibly hard place to be.

i learned that letting go of a past and seeing my own growth is only one part of the story. it is just the juice. the real and significant pieces go back to how i view the Queen in me.

self love is critical and vital to personal growth and ascension. as i look back in reflection, i have learned some valuable life lessons. there are people out there who are mean hearted and will try to hurt and attack you.

i learned these the hard way and my response taught me to work through my own shadows and dark work that was ugly.

i learned healing is not all that beautiful. if anything, it is ugly and painful. it makes you grow through things and the childhood trauma… gahtdayum that will mess you all the way up.

childhood trauma creeps up in how we communicate, or lack of communication skills and challenge you like no other. bottling up, or telling someone to toughen up, or let it go, or “relax”, mayyyne there are so many ways and methods of suppression.

FYI, i learned first hand, if you don’t know or have healthy coping mechanisms, triggers and stress will send a person reeling.

learning myself and growing from pain took a lot out of me. then COVID happened, and here i am, one pant size bigger and heart scars to prove it.

it took me a long time to get to where i am. while i am aware i didn’t do this alone, i often think success is seldom ever done completely alone. especially, when you are Indigenous. you see, Indigenous people need our families and close friends who are like family.

while on this part of my healing journey, as i look up into these powerful mountains, i know i am healing and can confidently look back knowing i am exactly where i am meant to be.

it is peaceful.

this part of the journey has taught me, i am the light. going into those deep and dark places was actually a f’d up place to be.

as i look back, i can see and self actualize when i began to grow. presently, i am at a much different level of maturity and emotional intelligence. there was so much layered work i can hardly believe i did it.

i look forward into my future now without fear. i have intentionally done a cleanse every month since the beginning of this year and i feel safe, happy, and at peace.

the insecurities i have been working on have left and what’s done is done.

no more crying in the night.

no more lamenting over the past.

no more wishing on a star.

no more wondering what anyone is doing.

i have been set free and it’s more than i realized.

i send my thanks and gratitude to every soul and spirit who crossed my path and me. betrayal never felt good anyway. today, i have licked my wounds and cleanse myself in these pristine and healing mountain waters.

my ancestors look upon and protect me with their weyekin. from wherever i stand on Mother Earth under Father Sky, i am Adzhaan Bii’neh (woman full of life) and Lay’ken’yut (woman who sits along the edge).

Yox kalo 🙏🏾❤️

Hozho nahasglii ❤️

Hozho nahasglii ❤️

Hozho nahasglii ❤️

Hozho nahasglii ❤️

Categories Indigenous

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