the ghosts of Christmas past

i sometimes miss the city.

i miss the conveniences of getting a good cup of coffee.

i miss baristas

i miss fresh vegetables and fruits fr the market at not so high prices, let alone variety.

i live in an area where finding good Mexican food is about two hrs away. anything else is a substitute for mediocrity that white ppl call “Mexican.”

i felt the need to get away recently even if only for a day.

a beautiful lovely spa. a variety of food to select from and the colors of fall were everywhere.

Spa treatment

although not all the leaves had fallen, the sky was still grey.

as i passed an old familiar route that i took everyday to get my kids to childcare, then back home to start dinner, or enjoy take out from A Taste of India or Thai Bamboo or Thai on 1st, i missed the varieties of food.

i especially missed the reclining leather seats at the movie theater and the shi shi shopping at Nordstroms.

times have changed so much and yet the old familiar feelings were still there.

i felt a feeling and let them be.

my favorite WHBM store was closed. now idk where to go to find the latest outfit. is this what they meant by the old me dying and a new me is being reborn?

does that also entail letting go of my faves fr life before COVID? cuz i enjoy Nordy’s esp because of the familiarity. it reminds me of a time when my kids and i would go for holiday shopping.

it just so happens the holidays are here and on my recent visit to the city, i became a lil nostalgic.

holidays can be sad for me at times but i’d rather be at peace in the same light.

in so many ways we all grow and in this moment it was reminiscent of Christmas days gone by.

the ghosts of Christmas past come rolling through reminding me of how growth and counseling/therapy really does wonders.

no triggers or traumas just pure love, compassion, kindness, and forgiveness.

forgiveness especially during this time, but also distance. we didn’t do all this work so we could perpetuate.

no, we done healed so we could rematriate.

the rematriation is what does it for me.

we rematriate in order to elevate.

heal, grieve, sing, and remember we’re never too far from glory and singing songs of hallelujah under the Christmas tree.

it’s time to say good night and im besides myself about someone and wonder, in true Whitesnake form… is this love?

or am i just feeling the nostalgia of the holiday season?

Categories Indigenous

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